Plan the perfect wedding with your brilliant mum, and your new
mother-in-law-to-be by your side. Here are a few ways to get the
Chances are, your mum is having kittens right now. If you’re newly engaged (and many congratulations to you both!) then next in line after the happy couple, the award for ridiculous overexcitement and spontaneous bursts of joyful jumping up and down on the spot goes to the mother of the bride. By rights she has the monopoly on this. Get used to catching her gazing at you wistfully, tearing up for no reason, and measuring her own head for hat size (I’ve seen my own mother do this and I swear, I’ve never seen anything quite so funny). But navigating the wedding planning alongside a woman like this – a mother of the bride on hyper-alert – is no mean feat. In fact, it needs careful planning in and of itself. Here’s our how to guide for smooth planning with the ‘MOTB’…
The holistic ‘feel’ of the day
Your glorious mum will want to feel included in every aspect of the day. Now first things first: trust us, she is an incredible asset. Get her on board from day one and paint for her your ‘big picture’ vision for the day. This is important so you’re both on the same page. If you’re thinking vintage-chic and she is picturing English-country-garden, you’re going to clash from the outset. Often, you’ll be clearer on what you don’t want than on what you do – especially at the beginning of your planning – so make sure you communicate this clearly to your mum. Mood boards are an excellent idea to help her visualise your dream day.
Early on in the planning (and obviously with large vats of Prosecco), spend some time with your mum going through Love Our Wedding and collating a mood board. Include lots of tactile fabrics and cuttings and leave the mood board with her. This is an excellent idea so that when she’s on the lookout for wedding inspiration without you, she’ll be able to co-ordinate perfectly with what you have in mind.
Take your mum to all suppliers…
If your incredible mum is anything like mine, then she’s a full-blown terrier when it comes to negotiating anything to do with finance. A force to be reckoned with, even. (There’s just something about our mums’ gravitas. Perhaps it’s their worldly wide wisdom and life experience.)
But where we might feel a little abashed, embarrassed, or just plain out of our league when it comes to negotiating prices with suppliers, our mums feel no such discomfort. Here, they are in their element. Instinctively savvy, they have an excellent nose for a bargain and can sweet talk even the staunchest of suppliers into tweaking prices down to a more purse-friendly figure. Mothers of the bride are your trump card here… Send them out to do battle for you!
Make a big deal of her outfit
After all, it is a big deal. But your mum’s outfit deserves a day of shopping with you there to help and advise, just as she has been an incredible support for you, vice-versa. Make a day of it. Try on lots of different styles and colours. The old adage that the bride ended up choosing a dress she would never have dreamed of trying on also rings true with the mother of the bride. Encourage her adventurous side. Let her know how beautiful she is.
Consider taking her on a thank-you spa trip
Planning is full-on and both of you deserve a treat and some pampering ahead of the big day. There’s something utterly glorious about feeling yourself unwind with your mum in a beautiful setting with nothing more to worry about than whether to have a facial or a back massage (the answer’s both, obviously). Somewhere with a stunningly tranquil spa and sauna; indoor and outdoor pools; jacuzzi and signature spa treatments using Elemis products designed exclusively for the spa… And if it’s beginning to sound very precise indeed, we’re thinking in particular of the glorious pampering treatments at the inimitable Macdonald Bath Spa Hotel. Here, you and your mum can enjoy a good old gossip and unwind pre-wedding with some incredible massages and facials tailored specifically to your body’s needs ahead of the big day. We recommend the delicious afternoon teas too, in the most sumptuous of settings. The choice of speciality teas are truly remarkable (the chocolate tea is incredible!), and the cakes and sweet treats are absolutely scrumptious – the perfect way to spoil Mum. See more of the spa packages available at macdonaldhotels.co.uk.
(Main pic credit: Caitlin + Jones)