Does everyone want to get involved in your wedding planning? Don’t fear! We’ve got top wedding planning advice from Marie Haverly, The Wedding Expert and Founder of Isabella Weddings…
Isn’t it wonderful! You are engaged and suddenly you have a million helpers, all wanting to get involved and ease your stress. This is fabulous, you won’t have to lift a finger!
Sadly, it isn’t always as lovely as you first thought. For some the offers of support can mean managing a team of people, which isn’t always easy. Emotions run high, people express (and assert) their opinions, wishes and ideas. Before you know it you are the centre of a big tug of war between a group of once lovely, happy friends and family who are now sparring partners in a big territorial turf war for props and catering offers. Ok, so I’ve made it sound like a war-zone! It’s not usually that bad of course, however having all these offers of help can actually be a hindrance and a stress-inducing time rather than the relief your loved ones hoped it would be. The trick is to allocate, delegate, manage and move forward once you have done so.
We always advise our couples to first of all set their plans on paper, write down their wishes and requirements so that they know exactly where they want to focus their wedding plans and ideas. This will help when you are deciding who can take on what from your task list and enable them to stay on track (hopefully). Once you know what style and theme you are going for I always suggest politely declining offers of help until you’ve booked a few vital things – like the venue, the music, and caterers for example. That way you have a few areas set in stone, which will also help guide your army of helpers.
Once you have a few plans secured it’s time to call in those favours. However, before you offload your task list think about those who will be in your ‘team’ before asking them if they can help or accepting their offers. What are their strong points, what would they be good at doing or making, do they get stressed at planning things like this? (Ensure these guys have an easy to manage task, we don’t want extra stress).
Next – and this is my golden rule for all my couples – ask the right person for help with one or two tasks only then once they have agreed, don’t ask anyone else. Having too many people researching or making something for your wedding (unless of course the task requires a team of helpers!) can cause the ‘too many cooks’ scenario. It is better to delegate one task to the perfect helper, then once you have briefed them, leave them to it. Don’t micro manage them, let them take on the task and trust them to deliver. Problems only tend to arise when you either ask for lots of help for one small task or insist on getting too involved even though you’ve handed over a specific duty to someone.
Suppliers can also be tricky to manage, some are so eager to help that they can take over a little, advising on what they think would be best and how they think you should have your wedding. This can be a sensitive situation as, after all, they have the experience but remember this is your day your way. Listen politely to all advice but be assertive. You know what you want and although advice on areas that really won’t work should be adhered to, if your suppliers and loved ones begin to bring in unrequested friends who could ‘really add something to your day’ then smile and say no thank you. You will want to keep control of your plans before they run away with you.